Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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