Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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