New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
