I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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