I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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