Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
