thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize