So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
