THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
