I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize