i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
