She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
do herpes really smell.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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