At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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