Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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