Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
