Say something about gay babies.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
