Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
