Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
