Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
