So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
