I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
