I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
