Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
