is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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