he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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