i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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