Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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