.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
