Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
