yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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