Swine flu. Run for my life!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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