So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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