I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize