You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
barbara walters just said penis...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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