i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
