well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
