Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
