i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
