IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
