onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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