I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
