I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
