I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
