I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
