how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
