I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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