Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

I pooped in a mop bucket.

(1-512): View more from Texas

WTF???

(512): View more from Texas

Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that

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(301): View more from Maryland

i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there

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(407): View more from Florida

my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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(317): View more from Indiana

well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later

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(860): View more from Connecticut

And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.

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(310): View more from California

It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you

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