the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
