awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think a kid would responsible me up
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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