I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
