You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
