I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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