drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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