Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
