do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
