You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
