This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
