Taylor Swift is so right about you.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize