Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
