he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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