just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sobbing to NWA
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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