its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he thought i was a dude.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this will be a night to untag.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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