I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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