If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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