Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
