My boss' voice literally gives me gas
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
