Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize