"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
