you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
