its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
