And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
