I need help removing her.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
