u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize