i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have feelings that need drinking.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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