wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
