just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
