Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
