I just saw a hot homeless man
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
