thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
