Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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