Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
