Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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